It can discourage and confuse children when they hear this word all the time. Plus, it reinforces bad behavior.
You’ll get better cooperation from your children if you avoid saying “no.”
These four strategies will help you reduce the negatives while promoting the positives.
- Tell your children what to DO. Change each “don’t” to a “do”. For example, instead of telling your child, “Don’t track mud on the floor!” you can say, “Please remove your shoes before entering the house!” or “Please don’t eat your sister’s Legos!”
- Say “Yes” It’s easier to say “No” when your child wants to go to the Library while you are knee-deep in closet organization, but try saying “Yes, That sounds great.” I can take you this afternoon
Which would you rather do?You can replace “No, you cannot go out and have fun” with “You are not finished your homework yet!” You haven’t done your homework! Replace “You can play with friends after you finish your homework.” - I really appreciate any help you can provide. This leap of faith will help your children make the right choice. You will be able to encourage your child more by saying, “Thanks for hanging your towel up after you shower,” rather than “I should behave better.”
“Never see your towel again on the floor!”One example is: “Thanks for keeping your chair’s four legs on the ground.” This will be received better than “You could break your neck by leaning your chair back like that!” - Role-playing is a great way to learn positive behaviors. Training is the most effective way for children to learn to behave in different situations. Decide on the type of behavior that you want your child to adopt (this could be anything from taking turns to
Addressing adults with respect to making his bed correctly), and then practicing in a low-pressure situation.Children will be more engaged if they are allowed to play with action figures or dolls. A conversation, not a lecture, will encourage older children to join in.
Changing your communication style may require some work, but it will be well worth the effort.
You’ll find that your kids are more motivated, have a better self-perception, and will be more cooperative.
