From Potty Talk to Swearing: 10 Tips to Curb Foul Language

From Potty Talk to Swearing: 10 Tips to Curb Foul Language

You refused to give your three-year-old a fruit snack, and he called you “buttface.”

As she reluctantly took out the garbage this morning, your middle schooler said something more colorful (and offensive).

When his team lost the game last night, your teenager shouted out his four-letter favorite expletive.

No matter what the situation, it is certain that you will cringe every time your child uses a not-so-sweet language.

Did you laugh when your child first discovered how funny potty talk could be? Did they hear about it in school? Did they listen to it from friends? What about around the house?

All Children experiment with foul language and swearing from time to time. The children do it to see how they will be reacted to.

What about potty words and swearing? You’re covered.

Here are ten ways to stop potty talking and cursing in your home.

Tip #1: Be aware of your language

Your child will look up to you as their first role model.

Take a minute to absorb that.

We tell kids all the time that they learn more from our actions rather than our words. This is a situation where they can learn from both…our ACTIONS when we are excited, frustrated, or angry.

Let’s face it: sometimes swear words are the perfect way to express our emotions.

Studies have shown that swearing has a cathartic or therapeutic effect. While it may be temporarily satisfying to us, it’s not the best way to set an example for our children.

In order to be a good role model to our children, we need to make sure that WE are our best selves. This means we should be careful not to curse!

You may be wondering how to do this.

Find an alternative to a curse word.

Decide on a G-rating replacement phrase or word to use when you feel the urge to swear. After a few weeks of practice, you will notice that your children are using more positive language and fewer curse words.

We should not only refrain from swearing but also watch how we talk to other people throughout the day. Try this…

Speak With A Smile

Let’s try an experiment. Although it may seem simple, this technique is powerful.

For one week, try to smile and say what you want to say. Even if you’re faking it, try to smile for one week.

It sounds simple. But it isn’t a powerful technique! We naturally communicate better when we smile while we speak. We will be more positive and encouraging, as well as less likely to use a bad word or something unpleasant.

Remember that our children are always listening to us (even if they don’t seem to). We must speak with respect towards them, to our partner as a parent, and to our family and friends. Be a model for appropriate language.

Beware of the double standard. You know that one, ‘I’m an adul’I’mnd I’m permitteI’mo use adult-language.’ Our children are sensitive to double standards. They don’t get what they can swear, and they can’t.

Tip #n’t correct terminology for body parts

It’s not jusIt’scoincidence that the word ‘butthead’ can send your toddler into fits of laughter (or even your older kids). It’s fun forIt’sm!

Should you tell them not to say it? Nothing makes a child more interested in a particular word than to be told that they cannot say it.

We can reduce the impact of these words by using the correct terminology to refer to the body parts.

Want to get an extra benefit? It is important to teach them the correct names of body parts and use them in conversation. This will help prevent sexual abuse.

Tip #3: Turn this into a learning opportunity

It’s not realistic to expect our children to curse, swear, or use bad language. At some point, our kids may use bad language.

Many parents ask me how to deal with swearing in a “contextual” manner.” This can be difficult to achieve because you cannot really stop your child from using bad language.

 

Michele Borba is an educational psychologist and author. The offender should be required to find a more appropriate, new word to replace the offensive. You can ask them to use the new word in their daily conversations or to write it down on an index and teach the other family members.

Tip # 4: Don’t overreDon’tYou laughed hysterically at your two-year-old’s barelyold’sal description of the dog as a “poopie head.” Where did”he hear that?

Did you explode in epic proportions when your teenager dropped his third F-bomb that morning? How could he treat you so badly after all that you do for your child?

I get it. It’s hard to It cool when your child drops a curse. Understandably, you would react in these situations in a way that is “practically unvoluntary.”

Try “to stay calm.

Whether our” children are toddlers or teenagers, an overreaction of any kind creates a reward for the behavior. Our children will see our response as a great win, which will make them want to repeat it over and over again.

Consider this: Our kids know from experience that potty-talk or cursing sets us off. It’s a trigger for us. They have it time and again.

When our children use foul language, it’s more than likely that they’re using it to invite us into a battle for power. We react when they use foul language, and we lose our cool. This reinforces the behavior and almost guarantees that it will be repeated.

This is a vicious circle that can be frustrating for parents. What can we do about it?

Remove Our Reaction

This. Is. Hard.

But with some preparation (like tip #7 below), we can eliminate that power payoff. We can stop the power payoff by simply keeping a cool head. If you do this often enough, we will start to hear our children using less bad language, such as potty-talking and cursing.

Tip #5: Stress family values

I believe that each family should have a clear set of values, and they should refer to these whenever there is a conflict. They can include anything from the way each family member is expected to contribute to the household to the language that is allowed.

Does your daughter’s best friend’s cousindaughter’srbest-friend’sn F-bomb whenever she wants? Set clear expectations with your child regarding the language that is acceptable and not permitted.

Explain it to her. I understand that other children use this word. But in our family, that kind of language will not be tolerated.

We may receive a few grumbles, snide remarks, or even some eye rolls. But by demonstrating our values to our children, they will know what is expected of them in terms of bad language.

Pro tip: Family meetings can be a good place to discuss and set your family values. Review Step 6 in the 7-Step parenting success system(r) for Positive Parenting Solutions members to learn how to use family meetings as a way to connect, solve problems, and have fun!

Tip #6: Understanding the Situational Context

As parents, sometimes we jump to conclusions without getting the full picture.

Does your teenager swear often, or only when around friends? Stress is a possible factor. What about anger?

Older children need to understand the source of their words. We can only find a solution once we have identified the cause of the problem.

If their swearing is a result of anger, you can validate that feeling while suggesting ways to communicate it more respectfully.

I can tell that you are really upset about this. When you have calmed down, I’d love to speak to you about I’ds.

Just know that our child’s swearing does not always affect our parenting.

It’s easy to take their words paternally and wonder where we went wrong or what we did to influence this kind of behavior. Sometimes, it’s not about us.

Try to get to the bottom of the issue by digging a bit deeper. You’re doing an excellent job.

You’re – Decide what YOU will do.

Your son will not stop using potty words even after you have tried everything, including time-outs and taking away privileges.

You are now trying to resist the “bar of soap,” a recommendation”from your mother. You still have no idea where to go next.

We can’t stop our children from using can’t-talk or swearing. He is the one who controls his mouth and voice. We can’t stop him from speaking uncan’twe duct tape his mouth shut. We do not recommend duct-taping!

What can you do?

Take Action!

Decide what you will do if you ever hear offensive language.

One possible solution? When to walk away.

Tell your child that if you hear him use disrespectful language, you will walk away and not say a word. You love him too deeply to argue, and you wouldn’t know anything you regrewouldn’tis a great way to model personal responsibility.

It is not about him getting away with his behavior. You are simply removing the “reward” and showing him that he” deser” es to be treated with dignity. Do not tolerate anything less.

As parents, we must remember that our actions are much more powerful than our lectures.

Monitor screen time, music, and internet use.

You’re driving your 12-year-oldYou’reter, and you’re jamming out to music. You’re shocked, with your jaw ground, as she drops each lyric, curses included as if it were Nicki Minaj.

It is a difficult reality to accept for many parents, especially when their children start to transition from childhood into their teenage years.

It’s a harsh truth, but today’s children are exposed to today’s reality more than ever before. There’s no way to avoid the offensive message that our children are exposed to, whether it is the sassy sarcasm of their favorite TV character, the M rating on the latest video game, or the slew of comments on social media.

It is important to be able to manage it.

It’s important to have a conversation with your children if you don’t like the way they are being treated or what values they hold. Keep an eye on your child’s screen time. Listen to children’s music and monitor their internet usage.

You may think, “Amy, my life is already very busy.” What if I’m already so busy? “how can I possibly monitor my child’s technology when I’m alschild’sn everything else I’mt I need to do?

You may think this is impossible, and I do understand that. You have a solution at your fingertips, I promise! Try my FREE CHILDREN’S WEBINAR. You’ll learn your child’s technology using a step-by-step procedure.

No need to be afraid of the world that your child will become more and more involved in. It will always exist. You can be proactive about how you handle it within your household.

Pro Tip: Are you worried about the reaction of your child when you monitor their screen time monitoring? Positive Parenting Solutions members can take the advanced training on the “Family Technology Survival Pla.” They will learn how to set t”technology boundaries that everyone feels good about.

Tip #9: Encourage good language choices

Please encourage your child when they make good choices.

Does your child use the correct term to describe a body part?

You can encourage him by saying, “Thanks for using appropriate l” language to talk about your body.” You’re growing up !”

Do you” You’reer curse at h”r brother just before she leaves her room to get out?

Let her know: “I appreciate your efforts in e”citing your language.”

Please encourage your child because “they are moving in the right direction. Every step, no matter how small, counts!

Tip #10: Delegate Legitimate Power & Control

It’s often a form of power play someone intentionally curses. It’s a way to get our attention. The best way to deal with this is by giving them age-appropriate power and control.

How can we achieve this? Give them some control in certain areas of life. This could include choosing clothes, what to eat for breakfast, or the book they want to read before going to bed.

You can give older children more freedom to plan their days. Do they prefer to do their homework before or after dinner? Would they like to ride their bike to school or take a bus?

The child’s behavior is not a problem. The child has received enough positive attention and opportunities for the child to be empowered in positive ways.

Final Thoughts

Children use potty language for many reasons. It can be frustrating for parents.

You are not alone if you’re trying to find ways to you’re your child’s speech. There is help for a child.

It’s not the swearing that is the problem. Instead, it could be your child using foul language to gain power or as a means of revenge. It’s now time to dig deeper into the issue and find out what is really driving this behavior.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *